let's regroup, shall we? so don't ask don't tell vote fell through today. that sucks. on the advice of Riese Bernard over at Autostraddle, I've ordered Richard Yates by Tao Lin. I've also ordered New & Selected Poems by Stephen Dunn. She & I seem to have a lot in common, if anything she's ever written on auto-win is true ;-)
Anyway, I'm hoping that these bring insight into my life. I'm also re-reading Tipping the Velvet, along with Ash
by Melinda Lo and also, don't kill me - Twilight. I figure if I'm going to diss it, I have to read it.So now that my secret shame it out of the way, I can move on to happier topics, perhaps one of your choosing. Wait, there don't seem to be any of you. I suppose I could go on about how my newly ex-girlfriend won't stop communicating with me and called me her best friend today. (Ouch, yes - the sound that you heard was definitely my heart exploding. It's okay, I've learned how to put it back together...)
Or I could talk about my first love, and how she contacted me the other day to tell me she's sorry for how she's acted. She just was diagnosed bipolar at 30 years of age. I knew this when we were in high school together...way before my diagnosis. Which she chastised me for having to take pills for. Anyway, so over that.
Or I could talk about how I"m trying to move into my Grandmother's vacant house, if I can get it painted and a new roof put on. I feel like this will never happen. I feel crazy and I feel like I"m in the wrong place and I have no idea where to even begin to stop the swirling-whirling-crazy thoughts in my head.
So I"ll take a deep breath, and another bite of cookie dough. Then perhaps I'll finish up work, drop by and pick up some beer (that I shouldn't be drinking) and get started painting again. Unless any of you have a better way of modeling through...??
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